Pregnancy Woe Is Me

First off, today I had my 1 hour glucose test. I have been a little nervous about it since I've been craving so much sugar today - I hope my levels aren't insanely high. I was also nervous since it requires a blood draw - one of my least favorite procedures. I went in to Labcorp, got ushered into a little room with a comfy recliner, a tv and magazines from 2004 and 2005 to read. (Hey, as least I now know what was fashionable those years.) The tech brought in a bottle of orange stuff, about 12 or 16 oz, not sure, and said I had to drink it in 5 minutes. It's not that it even tastes bad - it just tastes like orange soda, but I can't drink that much liquid in such a short amount of time. I did it though and then sat there with a weird sugar rush for the next 55 minutes until it was time for the blood draw. Finally, my hour was up and I went to go get the dreaded done, and it actually wasn't so bad. I build it up much worse in my head than it really is. Now I just have to wait to find out the results. But I'm not done the blood work yet - I still have to get my rhogam shot which requires a blood draw and a shot. Double whammy of yuckiness! I'll wait for next week for that "fun".

Second, I'm not happy with my body right now. Obviously I'm pregnant, but I'm much bigger than I was last pregnancy at this time, so I just envision how big I'm going to get and it scares me. I look like I should be in my 34th week, not my 28th week. I noticed last night that my ankles are starting to swell. I haven't weighed myself but last time I did, I gained 15 pounds. Not that bad, overall, and actually I'm not getting bigger everywhere, but where I am, I'm not pleased. After this weekend, I'm going to be better. Not diet, of course, but cut back on the sugar (I've been having to fight Easter candy temptations, it's not fair!), cut back on the salt, more veggies and fruit. It might be too little too late, but at least it's something. I still have 3 months so I can't just give up and say, "oh well."

I'm also having anxiety about the whole delivery thing. I'm worried I'll go earlier than I want (in order to go on vacation with my family) and I can't control it. I'm scared to death that somehow this baby is huge and I'll end up with a c-section. (I know lots of women have them, including my mother, but if you think needles give me the heebie jeebies, you have no idea the craziness I have in my mind about being cut open.) I'm nervous that I won't be able to have this child without an epidural since I know how bad the pain is this time around. Again, it's not the end of the world if I did, but I'm scared of them too. I don't know...I'm just having anxiety about a whole lot I can't control and wish I could.